You Bettah Work!

Blushing bride is funny bride!



So like... Ravey just got proposed to over Youtube...She hasn't answered him yet. *looks over shoulder to poke fun at her again* But I await the final verdict...



Her initial response------------------------------------------->>>


<<<<<------My initial response





MAHTZAAAAAAAA!!!!

You could have knocked me out with a feather..You cynical fucktard.

Dear Cosmopolitan,

Please put some red-heads on your cover again. Me liiiiiike ♥♥♥♥

--Love Uchi♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Dear America,

WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!!

Your combined cynicalness is ruining my happy high. Awwww....Your life sucks?? Mine too. But sometimes you need to shut the fuck up about it. I was in a fabulous mood today. ♦ FABULOUS ♦ I'm writing about happiness in class and I decided to write a song about the good things in life. Looking for inspiration, I asked my friends what kept them going from day to day.

I got "Weed." "Gasoline." "Lithium." "Blood and death." "Pills." "Symbalta." "The death of the people around me." "Hitler." And Chairman? Bitch didn't even answer me.

........

....................../´¯/)

....................,/¯../

.................../..../

............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸

........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\

........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')

.........\.................'...../

..........''...\.......... _.·´

............\..............(

..............\.............\...


You unhappy assholes.

Love Uchi♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

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I told Pearl I love her.

Not in the "We need to sit down and have a talk" kind of I love you.. more of the "Run up to her randomly in the hallway and scream it at her then bail" kind of I love you. It didn't solve our problems at all... But the words left my mouth, and even if she didn't understand the hidden meaning beneath it, I'm happy I said it, and I feel better.

I love you I love you
I love you I love you
….…I love you…….
…….I love you…….
…….I love you…….
I love you I love you
I love you I love you

I love you………….
I love you………….
I love you………….
I love you …………
I love you I love you
I love you I love you
I love you I love you

….I love you I love you….
…I love you……I love you..
..I love you………I love you..
I love you…………I love you
..I love you……..I love you..
…I love you……I love you..
….I love you I love you….

I love you…………I love you
.I love you………I love you
…I love you….….I love you
….I love you……I love you
…..I love you….I love you
……I love you I love you

I love you I love you
I love you I love you
I love you …………
I love you I love you
I love you I love you
I love you…………..
I love you I love you
I love you I love you

I love you……..I love you
…I love you…..I love you
…..I love you I love you…
………..I love you……….
………..I love you……….
………..I love you……….
………..I love you……….

….I love you I love you….
…I love you……I love you..
..I love you………I love you..
I love you…………I love you
..I love you……..I love you..
…I love you……I love you..
….I love you I love you….

I love you……..I love you
I love you……..I love you
I love you……..I love you
I love you…..…I love you
..I love you….I love you..

Love Uchi♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

My sunshine runs on love and happiness.

Love and Happiness.
Love and Happiness.

My sunshine runs on love and happiness-
Sugar coated in fun and dipped in joy.

My sunshine runs on smiles and rainbows.
Butterflies and kitty cats,
happiness and brick a brack.

My sunshine runs on smiles and rainbows,
Sprinkled with honey and filled with glee.

My sunshine runs on cotton candy,
fine and dan-.....

...
....
....
...
........

Pearl cut her hair....

GOD DAMMIT!!!

--Love Uchi<3

His condom busted all over Americas face

Dear Pepsi,

Damn it. God damn it... I had like..Seventeen cans of you today. Stop being so delicious. STOP IT! D:

Love Uchi<3>

Ps: I still hate Gatorade.

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So it would seem my ex girlfriend spent Memorial Day weekend saluting her boyfriends cock instead of the fallen soilders. How wonderful. Why I know this, shouldn't be any less creepy then what I found out next.

Still at the cabin with Raven, we got a call at around nine or ten from my ex. She was crying or something, so Raven took the call upstairs. She came down fifteen minutes later.
"What's wrong?" "I'll tell you later.."

Ok...so I wait...

"Hey Raven, so what's wrong with Chinahoor*?" "I'll tell you later.."

...um...fiiiine....So I wait again....

"Hey uh..Rav...? China?" "Oh..I uh..I'll tell you later..."

..........................God damn it. So finally..like..an hour later, she tells me that my ex and her freaky as shit little boyfriend went camping together. {who's parents decided this was a fucking good idea?!?!} So then they fucked. They fucked the night away. Now this bothered me enough. So the silly little slut got her twat filled?

Why the FUCK do I need this information?!?! But anyway..here's the point. While they were fucking. The condom ripped. Oh??? And did he jizz inside? Oh he did!?!?! Allll of it. :D

Ya know what? Good. I'm glad. I hope they felt so awkward they couldn't do it after that. Fuck em. Fuck em both.


-------

On a sour note... Raven's been really upset lately.. The details are private..but..I wish we could help her.. I love ya Rae. I'm always here!

Love Uchi!!!!

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Final Thoughts: Fuck my ex's boyfriend. Fuck Raven's boyfriend. He's a freak and he's a perverted fuck.

I think I'll ask Shirley Temple to the prom...

Dear Chinahoor*,

Quackity-Ding-Dong-Shit?! What the foomanchoo is your basic malfunction? Did your circuit breaker catch a virus and crash? You fuck-me-stiletto skanky ass flat chested cottaging* sluttard. Really?! REALLY?!?!? Your cranium musta fell into a nasty batch of whore acid. Fucking slutmuffin. Twatwaffle. Jiz-Tacofalcon semen sniffer. Go stick a fail dildo up your USB port.

I swear Zou, Jashin, Budda, Sasuke and God--when you touch me, it's like dousing an open wound in Ajax*. Your flagards a fucking flit. Fuck Freakazoid. Fuck im...Fuck im! I didn't realize I'd get along with Fargo till today. Till he started pill poppin to pop of you you passive aggessive pussy ass prick.

Anywhoo...I'm so glad you came to Levity last week. Your baby sis is super cute! Unlike you. Blackwidow bitch. I ker pwn your ass. I hope Freakazoid pops your rock candy so hard your shit rips and your whore dam pukes tabascco* sauce all over his twizzler stick.

--LOVE UCHI<3

ps: That thing you lost? I totally stole that.

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Dear Pearl,

I wanna fuck you.

Naw. I kid-I kid... I'd be happy if we could be all talky-talky bestie-bestie ask me to the prom and I'll jerk off to that dress you're wearing instead of pissing out purple Gatorade {eww} like I said I would right after we slow dance that song Ravens dad got arresed to. I also wouldn't mind a pretty smile on that pretty little face you have. Gosh you're pretty....

I wanna skip to the academy holding hands like we did that time I walked you home after it rained. I wanna hold you close to me...Such a cutie princess.

Sugarpopbubblegumpumpkinpie.

Ahhh..You're like the Queen from Candyland. And I do believe I'd make a bichin' king to your queen. Ah yes.. Together we would keep the kindom sugar high on our love <3

Heh..heheh...This sounds a tad creepy...Heh..Fuck it.

I got it bad.

--LOVE UCHI<3

ps: You rock my socks Pearls. Like the God damn Rolling Stones.

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May 22, 2009

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I skipped out on the academy today. Not that the Empress could have seen through my decepion. I'm like Houlden Caulfield when it comes to shit like that. Mai skills man..I got mad of em. I didn't get to see Pearl though. Which sucks ass. And my mind decided to fill the void lef behind by a lack of algebra with the excess memories of my precious Pearly that my heart can't hold. It's gettin' kinda full in there... It sucks to know she's probably with Chairman. In fact... It pracically steams my shit. Argh.. Please stop being mad at me Pearls....

Spending the next few days up at the Cabin with Ravens family. They redecorated the place recently and it KICKS ASS. Shatner didn't show up for a while cuz the fool got arrested, {again} which is more hilarious then it sounds. He's such a jerk.

Fargo called earlier, bitchin about Chinahoor*and how she sucks blah-blah. Geez..Get over it! She cheated on me too dude! .....actually..she cheated on me with you.

I feel like having a hastily made sandwich...

Actually..I really wanna head down to Sugar Castle to hang with Pearls....then make a sandwich..or two..

Prom today. I'd ask one of my girls to go but I doubt they'd go. You see..My girls have a strict 'no fun' policy. Fuck..it..I'll go next year...snag a prostitute or something.

Dancing or no dancing, I'll still end up spending 500 bucks.
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*cottaging--having sex in bathroom stalls
*Ajax--cleaning agent. btw--this would BURN


Final Thoughts: I hate Gatorade.

On the increasingly high chance you don't know what I'm taking about.

THE MAGICAL DISCLAIMER THAT SOMEHOW MANAGES TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING



This blog is simply to get out my bizarre thoughts. I changed everyone's names to avoid being killed. I changed the names of locations too. Excuse my foul language. I mean no offense...probably.. The format of the blog goes: Letter to someone, main point, random thoughts. I tend to tangent...


:PEOPLE I MIGHT MENTION:

Uchi/Konan----This is me. I sign my letters with either pseudonym.
Pearl---------Pearl is my girl. She's kinda..mad at right now.
Chairman------A friend of mine and Pearls. Shes kinda....manly.
Serena--------An ex friend. She's also pissed at me.
K.C.----------An ex friend. I'm pissed at her.
Chinahoor*----My ex girlfriend. She stalked me until last week.
Empress-------My mother.
Jett----------Moms fiancee.
$lut----------An underclassmen. We hang, but she annoys me.
Freakazoid----Chinahoors suckass boytoy. He's a freak.
Jupiter-------Ravens boyfriend. He's such a bitch.
Fargo---------Chinahoors ex.
Heffner-------Some creepy neighbor.
Raven---------My bestie. Has horrible taste in men.
Shatner-------Ravens younger bother.
Gibbs---------Ravens Dad.
Dutchess------Ravens mother.
Cherry--------A friend.
Pine----------A friend.
Red-----------A closer friend.
Poppers-------An underclassmen/friendof mine.
Choco & Chip--Sisters. Choco is older.
Tora----------A slut friend of mine. We've been friends for years.

:PLACES AND WORDS:

Academy-------------School
Levity--------------A theatre I work for
Addytown------------My town
The Cabin-----------Ravens house
Sugar Castle--------Pearls house
Prosecutors Lounge--My house.

ETC..ETC